Bra-Humbug! A Bra That DOESN’T Fit

Bra Humbug Simply Be
So you know we’re all about bra fit over here! We didn’t really intend the blog to be a major bra fit hub in the first place – it was mostly just to show off our love of all things lingerie – but a well fitting bra goes hand in hand with that for us. Saying that, we do have to confess that we do have a few pieces of, ahem, not so well fitting underwear, whether that’s because they were our best bra-friends once upon a time or because they’re just oh-so-comfortable.
Simply Be have written a series of blog posts recently on adding some festive cheer to your lingerie drawer, and while that might draw images of tinsel and bauble bedecked bras and babydolls to mind (in fact, where are all of these?!), we’re focusing in on what they’re calling “Bra Humbug!”. Apparently 60% of women haven’t updated their underwear drawers in 3 years – horror!
Again, we must confess that’s not quite us – in particular, Sian’s drawers are bursting with pretty frills and laces. But, we will admit that we have a few of the old favourites still hanging on in there for dear life, and we wanted to tell you a bit about them.

Freya Deco 28FF

My Bra Humbug is my good ol’ fave Freya Deco in a 28FF. Yes, that was 28FF you just read, and no, I’m not a 28FF…any more. Back before we had the blog, my first ever properly fitting foam bra was the Freya Deco in Firecracker Red in a 30F. It was my FAVE. It was the best thing to have ever graced my chest thus far. It was a bra in my size that wasn’t super grannyish, created cleavage (as many full busted brands like to lift and separate!), and it was smooth to go under clothing.
Then I won a competition in which I was awarded the prize of the whole current Deco collection – I think I just about passed about when I read that. I’d since bought the red Deco in 28FF after discovering that I was wearing a band size that was slightly too big (as evidenced by the ever rising band). At the time, I was just on the cusp of a 28G and as I knew most shapes can get away with the Deco in a cup size slightly too small (you get more cleavage, okay?!), I went for my Decos in a mix of 28FFs and 28Gs.
Of course, my cup size then expanded, and I’m now a good solid 28GG if not a 28H in some brands. But I am still in love with my Decos and just can’t bear to get rid of them. They’re perfect! And they started my collection of bras! Although, they’re not perfect as barely a single one of them actually fits. Let’s take a closer look:

Freya Deco 28FFFreya Deco 28FFFreya Deco 28FF

To be honest, an unexperienced bra eye couldn’t tell that this is a bad fit, as the cleavage level just makes it look Victoria’s Secret marketing-esque, which many are conditioned to think is a good fit. Also as I said, the Deco does let you get away with it just a little bit – a more closed on top bra would look horrendous in this size on me! But notice the bursting over the top – not so great! You can also see how the cup size being too small is causing the band to feel and look tighter too, causing a bit of “squishing” in the back view.
But, it’s still hanging around in my drawer. In fact, it’s not even hanging around there, it’s out on almost weekly rotation. If it’s a bad fit and I have so many other bras, why?! Well, mostly because I’m lazy and I know I can wear it comfortably without it showing under clothes. There’s also the fact that it’s the only bra I currently own in my skin tone so it functions as a nude bra for me, and I occasionally like to wear white tops (despite my tendency to spill food). Then there’s the fact that, well, I just love it! It was one of my first properly fitting bras, it’s a Deco, and I won it in a competition…I just can’t get rid of it!
But Simply Be may have me persuaded otherwise…there may be a bra with my name on it winging its way over that will replace this one very soon…

Peter Pan bra

And MY Bra Humbug is a bit of a sentimental classic. Of COURSE it was a present from my bra-tner in crime, my bra-bestie, Sian! She picked up this magical piece at Forever 21 when she was on holiday in the States…two years ago? Was it two years ago, Sianio? Now, regular readers should know that the last thing I’d ever expect Sian to do is give anyone a bra that doesn’t fit—even her worst enemy. But this just had to count as a special exception to the rule. Sian and I just so happen to have more than just lingerie in common—we both also harbour a secret love for Disney. Except that is isn’t quite so secret. And so, even though I wasn’t there, I can imagine in technicolour and high def what her reaction would have been when she first saw this bra on the shelf: first, squeaking; second, squealing; third, hand flapping. Then, disappointment—as she suddenly realises that there is no way in heck (I would say hell, but it is Sian we’re imagining) it’s going to fit her. And THEN—

I end up with the best present ever.

Peter Pan bra

Peter Pan bra

So it’s obvious why I love this bra so much. I mean, who wouldn’t? It has Peter and Wendy flying across the night sky of London. It’s also obvious why it needs to be my Bra Humbug; because it goes against almost every fitting rule in the BCLC book! It’s a 34B, with so much stretch in the band that I can pull it out at the back AND the front at the same time. The cups gape, and the straps are only half adjustable, and always falling down.

Peter Pan braPeter Pan bra

But it’s a Disney bra, and was given to me by Sian, so I could never get rid of it! Currently, it serves its purpose mainly as loungewear, to be brought out on major slob days. It’ll probably get a few wears between Christmas and New Year! It’s seriously comfortable, with zero support—and I love it 🙂

Oh and before we go – we attempted bra throwing pictures, we failed. But we thought you would appreciate one of our outtakes:

bra humbug

As we mentioned, we are receiving “replacement” pieces for these “bra humbugs” for this post – keep an eye out for those very soon!

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